Dear Friend,
I assume that you found this because of a great heart break. Because the one who promised faithfulness, maybe even for forever, has somehow breached that trust. Oh how I ache that you know such pain.
You see, I know it as well. While our stories likely have differences, they likely have similarities as well. We might not share the exact same details, but we’re now part of a club that we never, ever, in a million trillion years wanted to participate in. Life is different and reality was shattered.
So, here’s the thing, this hurts. Seriously hurts. Can someone die of a broken heart? I am going to be honest with you, I have wished for death at times.
Hope
And then… then I found this thing called “recovery.” I was shocked to learn that I had options and choices and the ability to change my situation. I was amazed to learn that experts have recently been studying this thing called “betrayal trauma.” I was relieved beyond anything I can describe to find that there was help available for me.
For me, I’m not completely healed yet. I still suffer from paralyzing trauma at times that really takes it out of me. Most people would never guess that I am often times really mess, but it’s true. So, I’m on a journey. A journey for wholeness that leads to deep inner peace. I’ve had blips of it; I’ve seen the beginnings.
Tools
So far my journey has included God, therapy, yoga, art, books, mindfulness, meditation, 12 steps, friendships, support groups and more. I have found so much joy and healing. I have found myself.
About that betrayal trauma though, it’s a booger. Seriously. Crippling at times. Even though things are improving in my marriage and family, trauma creeps in, hijacks my system, and leaves various forms of evidence of the devastation. I really hate it.
LET’S HEAL TOGETHER
You know that club we’re both in and don’t really want anyone to know about? Yeah. I haven’t wanted anyone to know either, but this betrayal trauma is kind of sort of REALLY crippling. What if we changed our shape a bit? What if we linked arms, found resources and dipped our toes in the water of what it’s like to heal. To really heal?
I did something scary. Terrifying actually. I started a podcast called Betrayal Trauma SOS. I incorporate meditation in my podcasts, but if you just want the meditation portion, you can visit that here. I hope you’ll join me and we can heal together.
Will you join me on this journey? Isolation is beastly.
XOXO
Jeni
Ps. I found this song and kind of sort of REALLY love it. Gave me some beautiful hope. If you listen to it, what do you think?